Ima Robot Forums

Smooth Poem

ducky - 6-24-2016 at 07:01 PM

And nothing was good that day
'Cept that bright light
So hot
I remember I asked you if you maybe had some money
You looked down me with a smile
"I ain't got no dough dummy"

La la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la

She left a little while later
Ain't no thing, you know
That's the past
I can't help wondering if maybe you turned your head and looked up at my window while you were walking away
I kept thinking you would show
But like you always said
"That's the way it goes"

La la la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la la

It was just a lie
A fateful alibi
And now I've got my pain inside
You're the reason why

Man, I should have known, but
Something just happened, at night,
when you blink your eye,
it all goes wrong

A. Poem

benb - 6-25-2016 at 04:48 AM

> Well? nothing was good that day
And nothing was good that day

>I ain't got no dough dummy
sounds right

need la's between first and second part

>I can't help wondering [...] when you were walking away
while you were walking away

>And now I've got my game? inside
pain inside

last part
Man, I should have known, but
Something just happened, at night,
when you blink your eye,
it all goes wrong

A. Poem

ducky - 6-25-2016 at 05:10 AM

ty that's all correct, I got lazy w/ this one
But I'm still unsure about 'pain inside'. that's the word I originally came up with but decided it wasn't the right one. Anybody else agree on pain?